Happy New Year

"Be always at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let each new year find you a better man." - Benjamin Franklin

34 days left

What's Next?

Hawaii is only 35 days away, but what happens after that? I plan on continuing the journey, but what goal can I have after Hawaii?? I think that if I can be working towards something, I do better at staying committed to the goal. So what's next after getting back from Hawaii? I was talking to my Bestie the other night and he mentioned a 5 mile run on Memorial Day. I have to admit, I'm intrigued. I think it's definitely attainable within the time frame. That would give me roughly 5 and half months to get ready (that's a little over 19 weeks or 137 days from today). If I stay on track with the weight loss, another 19 weeks would be another 38lbs; if you add that to the weight I've lost so far, that would be a little over 62 lbs. I'd be around 262. Could my body handle running 5 miles? It's not a marathon, but it's still a chunk of miles to run. But I think it's definitely do-able. It will give me something to focus on after Hawaii and I don't want to lose the focus cause I'm starting to see results, which just gets me more motivated. So I've got to keep moving and the challenge of running 5 miles will keep me moving. I'll have to think about it, but let's get through the next 35 days first.

35 days left
or maybe 137 days left?

Oh So Close!

Today is officially 5 weeks until Hawaii. 35 short days. It also means another weigh-in. The last couple of workouts this week were great and I was feeling very confident going into this weigh-in. But, it was a holiday week with Christmas and I didn't have the luxury of being off work the day of the weigh-in like I did last week. So I didn't have the opportunity to work out and take a couple of shits before the weigh-in, like I did last week. I was planning on dragging my ass out of bed this morning, but that didn't quite happen. So even though I was confident, I was still a little nervous. Down 3 pounds! I was so relieved and happy to see that number. I'm officially one half a pound from being under 300 pounds for the probably the first time in about 5 years. One half pound away from losing 25lbs total. I'm well ahead of the 2lb per week average. Who knows, if I keep this up, I might hit 35lbs lost before Hawaii. Hopefully next week I'll be able to drop below the 300 mark!

Current Weight: 300.5
35 days left

Missing out on the worms

There were somethings that did happen this morning, and then there were some things that didn't happen this morning. My alarm DID go off at 5:30am. I DID wake up when it went off. I DID hit snooze allowing 10 more minutes of sleep. The alarm DID go off again at 5:40am. I DID wake up again and shut it off. I DID NOT however get out of bed until almost 7am to get ready for work. So I DID NOT make it to the gym this morning before weigh in. Wonder how that will effect the weigh in??

35 days left

Runnin' Man

I had to workout during my lunch today since we had plans to attend a local college basketball game tonight. It was the first time I've worked out at work in a while. I'm not going to lie, I wasn't looking forward to it. I've been so spoiled at the gym by using the elliptical, that I wasn't really looking forward to getting back on the treadmill. But, ya gotta put the work in to see the results, so I jumped on the treadmill again. One of the reasons for not liking the treadmill is that I tend to get shin splints about 5 minutes into it, so I can't go as fast as I'd like. Not today. I hopped on and did all but 5 minutes of the workout on 3.5 speed. Let me just explain that the last time I was working out on the treadmill, the fastest I could go was 3.0, then the shin splints would start and I'd have to scale it back to 2.5 or even 2.3. Not today! I was at 3.5 almost the whole workout and it was very comfortable. Not one shin was splinted, I felt great for the 2nd workout in a row! I felt so good that with 3 minutes left of the workout, I was about 85 calories away from hitting 600, so I bumped the speed up to 5 and ran the last 3 minutes!!! That's right, you heard me, I fucking ran...and it wasn't a light jog, I was running, like someone was chasing me and I could have kept going for longer...it felt that good and I hit 600 calories for the workout. Guess there has been a little progress! Now the true test will be to see if I can walk in the morning. Right now I still feel pretty good. I'm even planning on hitting the gym in the morning BEFORE work to get one last workout in before weigh-in tomorrow morning. I'll let you know how that goes, wish me luck!

36 days left

PAID IN FULL

Today was the day. The final payment for Hawaii was submitted. It's all paid for baby. Now all we've got to do is get the fuck outta dodge! I'm so excited I can't stand it. We are almost at a month away! It can't come too soon. I've worked pretty hard to get ready, and I know that I've got a lot farther to go. Focus on the sun. Focus on the sand. Focus on the relaxation.

36 days left

Digging Out

Sorry, it's been a couple of days since the last post but we've been keeping busy. We finally got dug out from all the fucking snow on Christmas and it felt good to get back into the gym yesterday (Monday). I was going to post something last night, but by the time we got home from the gym and I thought about it, I was already in bed. Better late than never. But I think taking the couple of days off over the Christmas break (other than shoveling all the damn snow) did my body good. I felt great at the gym last night. A very strong 45 minutes on the elliptical (for those of you keeping score, no, Santa didn't bring me one of my very own, but it was last minute, I understand). I actually went 3.25 miles instead of the usual 3, so that's pretty awesome. I think the best think to come out of it was the fact I missed going to the gym and I was really looking forward to getting back into the rhythms of working out on a regular basis. I also think I might have solved the nipple chafing issue, thanks to the armor that goes under (wink, wink). Got new work out headphones and new work out shoes for Christmas and the headphones work like a charm. I haven't tried the shoes yet cause there is still a little life in the ones I'm currently using. But all in all, it was a good just to be out of the house and moving again. There's that momentum again, can you dig it?

36 days left

Have yourself....

a Merry Little Christmas! We are currently buried under a foot of snow and 50mph winds creating the drifts from hell. So we are staying in and taking the day off from the world. Hawaii can't come soon enough.

40 days left

Dear Santa,

Dear Santa,

Hello! It's me, Fatty Boom Batty! How are you? I am fine. I bet you are real busy getting ready for your big trip tonight. How are the elves? Don't work them too hard, ha ha. I just wanted to tell you that I've been a good boy this year and have been working out really hard the last couple of months (64 days to be exact). If you could find room in your sleigh for a tiny little present for me it would be the best Christmas ever! I like to call it "God's gift to fat kids," but it's also know as the Precor AMT100i. I've enclosed a picture, just to prevent any confusion.


Have a safe trip!

Love,
Fatty Boom Batty

41 days left

#50

Here we are, the 50th post! Holy shit I don't believe it! I also don't believe I was up and at the gym this morning before 8am, on Christmas Eve to boot! Out of the last 7 days, I've hit the gym 4 of them. Not too shabby. Here's to hoping that the next 50 posts have as much good news and progress the last 50 had.

41 days left

If it ain't broke, don't fix it....

I had all best intentions. I really did. Yesterday I got out of work early and wanted to hit the gym before the plans we had last night. I got delayed at work and leaving at 2:30 turned into leaving at 3:30. I'm off work the next few days for the holidays, so I literally stood at my desk and did one last once over to make sure I didn't forget anything. I got to my car in the parking lot and realized that my workout bag was still sitting on my desk. Grrrr. So I went back in and got it and hauled ass to the gym. My usual routine is 45 minutes worth of cardio. Time was running short so I only did 30 minutes. But I still did it, I still went to the gym and still did 30 minutes. Then this morning, I wanted to be up, to the gym and home by 9AM. 9:20 I drag my ass out of bed. I had a couple of things to do for work then hit the gym and did an hour on the elliptical. The extra 15 minutes was for the 15 I missed out on the night before. So by the time I got home showered and stepped on the scale, I was starving. But I am happy to report down 4 more pounds! So that's 21.5 pounds down in 9 weeks! Ahead of the 2lb per week average! Only 6 more weeks until we hit the sands of Hawaii!! We are supposed to get just shit on with snow the next day or two. Initial reports were 15 inches after 2 inches of ice...gotta love the Midwest!

Current Weight: 303.5
42 days left

Sportsbro

It has been documented before that I have an "ample man bosom," and I seem to be having nipple issues, mainly chafing. Being on the elliptical causes a lot of up and down movement, which causes some "jiggling." Fine, I can deal with that; it comes with the territory, I get it. After Friday's workout I was in quite a bit of discomfort and when I hopped in the shower, it felt like someone had put out a cigar on each nipple when the water hit them. So I thought, how can I stop this from happening. Old Fatty Boom Batty would have just stopped working out. I thought maybe they just need to be toughened up, but that feels like it would be a long, gruesome processed. Then I thought band-aids, not an option, there would be significant hair removal. We needed to contain jiggle as much as possible, so for Saturday morning's workout I put on an XL t-shirt to act as some sort of redneck sportsbro...I guess it's better than using duct tape to secure the jiggle. But instead, I poured myself into this t-shirt hoping that the "guys" would be secure. It worked for about the first 30 minutes, but as the sportsbro became saturated with sweat, it loosened its grip and that familiar burning sensation came back. So I guess the next step is the band-aid method. I know it's not pretty, it's not glamorous, but this path is an ugly one and you've got to trudge through some shit to make it to the end goal. I'm just reporting on it, I can't make this stuff up. Yes, this post is about chafed nipples on a fat hairy guy, get over it, I did.

44 days left

Saturday Morning

Every once in a while you hit the zone. Everything clicks into place and you are in total harmony with your surroundings. I was lucky enough to experience it this morning. I hit the perfect positioning and it was the best I've felt in a long time. I would shut my eyes and the next thing I know 20 minutes would pass by, it was awesome! Then my wife came in to wake me up to go to the gym and I had to get out of the most comfortable position ever. But I did get up and I did go to the gym.

46 days left

Chalk one up for the good guys

Well, I ended up at the gym. I figured, usually I'm bitching about not having enough time during the day to fit a workout in, that I should probably take advantage of the open afternoon. I also decided to do 60 minutes today just to spice it up. In the back of my head I was thinking, I'll put 60, but if I'm tired at 45 I'll stop. It's easier to enter 60 and stop at 45 rather than entering 45 then having to reprogram another 15 minutes. Everything clicked today. I felt great. I just shut my eyes and focused. It was just me, the music and the sweat. I think I might have had an out of body experience. I visualized myself running through the streets of a city into an open field and I was hauling balls. I opened my eyes to towel off and take a swig of water, and there was only 15 minutes left. I couldn't believe it! It felt like I just got on. So I hammered out the last 15 minutes and called it a day. Pretty good work out if I do say so myself.

47 days left

Decisions, decisions....

I'm getting out of work in 10 minutes and will have the afternoon free. What should I do? I can hit the gym so that way it's done and out of the way since I won't have time later tonight to go. Or I can go home and relax a bit. Fire up the gaming system or watch a movie, shit, I could even take a nap! What to do what to do....

47 days left

Damn the Pecan

It was touch and go with the toffee, but I've got it secured in my stocking cap and stuffed in my backpack, untouched thank you very much. Out of sight out of mind. Onto the next challenge. Until about 5 years ago, I've never had pecan pie. Couldn't tell you why, I had just never tried it. I wasn't much of a pie person, unless it was French Silk. But apple, cherry, banana, lemon meringue, you name it, I wasn't interested. Then the holiday lunch happened at work. I had just started with the company a few months before, so this was my first experience with the holiday lunch. It was a spread with prime rib, two kinds of potatoes, salad, bread, veggies and of course dessert. I loaded up my plate like I was getting food for a refugee I had stored under my desk. I then hit the dessert table and it was all pie. It was free so I thought what the hell, worse case I take a bite and toss it if I didn't like it. I chose pecan cause the thought of pumpkin pie makes the back of my throat water. The first bite was like your first taste of heroin. My eyes rolled back in my head and my legs went numb. I was hooked. Pecan pie was the shit! Flash forward to today, holiday lunch day. It has become a tradition for me to only have pecan pie this one day of the year. I look forward to it every year. Today was the day. I'll admit, I was looking forward to it, but also nervous about it. I successfully dodged the toffee bullet, but this holiday meal was a landmine that's been tripped and ready to blow. It helped that the prime rib was fatty, I didn't eat a lot of it. Got the whipped sweet potatoes instead of the twice baked potato. Completely passed over the cheese manicotti. Got the green beans and passed on the carrots. The server actually asked if I would like a second plate for more food?!?! Really?!?! I declined and passed on the salad since that would have required a second plate. Then came the dessert table. Literally plates of pie for as far as the eye could see. I found the smallest piece of pecan (it's a tradition, can't break tradition) and went to sit down. I told myself at the beginning, I was going to get a small piece and cut it in half. I stuck to my guns and did splurge but I think I refrained accordingly.



Yes I did eat the bigger half. But in the grand scheme of things I'm OK with that. And in all actuality, the pie wasn't even that good! It's like a movie you watched when you were a kid and you just loved it, but you watch it now and think to yourself, "what in the hell was I thinking? This is terrible!" I didn't even finish the whole 1/2 slice! I think I'm officially over pecan pie.

48 days left

Wolves at the door.

I can't talk above a whisper cause I don't want them to hear me. I don't have much time. I can't make any sudden moves. Right now I'm trapped at my desk, motionless. I can feel their wee-beady eyes on me. Don't. Move. The "they" I speak of is a little Christmas box chock full of little pieces of homemade toffee, much like a heath or sk0r bar would be, placed on my desk by a thoughtful co-worker. I've had this toffee before....and it was good, really good, like push-old-women-and-children-out-of-the-way-to-get-some good. I don't know what to do, I can't let them see me. Once they do it's over. Maybe if I can distract them and shove them in my backpack....I have to time it just right. ohshittheyseemeIgottago....

48 days left

Constant Reminders

It has been a good week. Yes there was the first official snow storm dumping over 8 inches of snow on us. Yes there was the constant barrage of "holiday goodies" (for the love of pants, will someone please get all the fucking cheesecakes out of the freezer?!?!) Yes I was only able to make it to the gym a couple of times this week. But we are under 50 days, 7 weeks left and then it's sun and sand. That is what I focused on. The morning after this post, my wife asked me if I really wrote the calories on each kiss. I said, "you betcha!" She then asked if it was because I wouldn't be able to remember that each kiss was 23 calories. I do have shit for memory, but that's not the reason. The reason for me is that I want to know every time I pick one up and see that 23 on there, I know what I'm putting in my body. I need a constant reminder. For the last 35 years, I haven't really been thinking, I've just been eating. There are consequences for everything I eat and each 23 I see reminds me of that. There were days when I had trouble eating to my full calories. One night we were even able to go to a burrito place and have a fat ass burrito and chips. But I had to do the research first and get all the calorie info figured out and I kept track of what I was eating and I logged it all. I was low on calories that day, so that granted me the opportunity to splurge a bit without going nuts. My goodness, only 7 weeks left. We are over half way done! It seemed like an eternity away when this started 8 weeks ago and it will be here before I know it. Keep your eyes on the prize Fatty Boom Batty, you are almost there.

Current Weight: 307.5
49 days left

Fightin' but not writin'.....

Unlike what you've seen on the news, I am not taking an "indefinite hiatus" from the this little experiment in weight reduction. It's just that time of year. I've been fighting but not writing. Still going to the gym when possible. Last night I totally flaked out and didn't go. It's been witch's-tit-cold here and that makes it hard. Still watching the intake and counting the calories of EVERYTHING. Still trying to not partake in the holiday food fiasco. Just today, I was at the freezer at work and grabbed my 300 calorie frozen meal as it sat next to a stack of holiday personal cheesecakes. I'm still doing it. I just haven't taken the time to sit down and write about it. I will leave you with this little golden nugget; Current temp outside my window, 10 degrees. Current temp in Oahu, 81 degrees.

50 days left

Tis the Season Round 2

You have got to be fucking kidding me....I got these two emails at work today, literally 2 minutes apart:

Email #1:

Hello everyone-

I brought in 8 mini cheesecakes today. They are in the freezer over by the coffee maker. I will bring in more on Monday and Tuesday. (I don’t want to take over the whole freezer).

Please take one today before you go! First come, first served! Cheesecake will keep very well in your freezer for over a month.

PS For those of you new to the group, this is my Christmas present to all of you. Please take one home!

Merry Christmas!

Dave

Email #2:

Sorry for the late notice, but if you are interested, I’d like to see if we have enough people to do a cookie exchange over the lunch hour on Friday 12/18. I believe last year, each person brought 3-4 dozen cookies. Once we have a total head count, I will sent additional details. Please feel forward to invite others who may be interested!

Fa-la-la-la-la-la-fuck-ing-la. Yesterday I just gave the canister of chocolate and "special glaze" soaked popcorn to a friend, today I just won't walk by the freezer (if it was legal to marry a food, my Christmas cards would be sent out with "Holiday Wishes from the Cheesecakes!"--yes I would take on the Cheesecakes last name, that's how whipped I'd be by it, and if it's like a toffee/chocolate cheesecake-forget about it) for the rest of the day and I'll delete the invite for the cookie exchange. It's only 14 days to Christmas and then hopefully this barrage of holiday calorie explosion will be over. Hopefully.

54 days left

Tis the Season

With all the recent snow that's been dumped on us, I got into the office early this morning to avoid any traffic. As I was booting up my computer a couple of people from my department were delivering some holiday goodies to every one's desks before they got in. Every single person in our department go a 22 oz container of chocolate drizzled clusters of almonds, pecans and popcorn covered in an "amazing glaze." It looks like one of those fireworks that fires off 160 shots, but instead it's chocolaty popcorn "glazed" goodness. 20 servings per container, 160 calories per serving. If I ate the whole container 3200 calories...Half the container 1600 calories. They are bringing the war to my front door. These containers were put on every one's desks. It's like driving to your AA meeting and seeing a bar advertising free shots. The tests just keep coming. Being couped up for the past 2 days and all the snow and stress of this time of year, it would make me feel better to rip into this canister like there was a million dollars at the bottom. But would it though? My mind is telling me that it would. My addiction is running on all cylinders, trying to get to me crack the seal. I have a measuring cup in my desk (don't ask) so I could easily dish out a serving or two. Could I stop at a serving or two? I pick it up in my hand, it's heavy, must be all the calories. It's heft reminds me that I'm trying to decrease my heft. Focus on the goal, the sun, the sand, the comfortable 8hr plane ride, not crammed into the seat like some overstuffed pillow stuffed a cubbyhole. I'm not going to lie, it's tempting as fuck, but I will refrain (for now). Nice try, but not this time.

55 days left

Snowed In....

Feeling very blah today. We've been snowed in our house for two days now. Starting to burn the furniture for warmth. 8 short weeks away...56 days away from Hawaii. Days like today I have to focus on it more than ever. Weighed in today, down 1/2 a pound. I think we might need a new scale...the first couple of times I stepped on it, it said 264.5, which would have been awesome, but then that would mean I lost 46.5lbs in one week and that doesn't seem quite possible...so I waited a bit and then stepped on again and I'm down 1/2 a pound. Not quite 46 but I'll take it. Got to focus on the good stuff. I'm so tired of fucking snow and blowing cold ass wind I can't stand it.

Current Weight: 310.5
56 days left

Motivation

I thought that since we are officially under two months from departure, let's take a minute and regroup.....It's currently 18 degrees outside my window, with the wind it feels like 9 degrees. There are 3 inches of snow already on the ground and we are supposed to get another 6 inches tonight. Then the blizzard-like winds are going to start tomorrow night and the high is supposed to top out at 10. As if I didn't have enough motivation already. There comes a little voice from deep within, kind of small at first, but it grows in power (like Gandalf in the Lord of the Rings), "Keep your eye on the prize Fatty Boom Batty. As you are bundling up to go to the gym the next three days, keep the goal in site. Don't let a little chill in the air and some white stuff on the ground prevent you from busting your ass. For this is what you have to look forward to..."













58 days left

In GaGa We Trust

I've got just about every type of music on my workout playlist on my iP0d. Hip Hop. Gangsta Hip Hop. Cock Rock. Metal. Rap/Metal Fusion. Justin Timberland. Johnny Cash. You name it. What is my favorite? Well my friends, right now I can't get enough of Lady GaGa. During my last workout at the gym, I was huffing along and one of her songs came on and it was like a shot a lightning to me. I was pumped and my pace increased. I can get motivated by the "this is what goes on in the mind of a lunatic"s or the "beautiful people, the beautiful people"s or the "killing in the name of"s and the "bringing sexy back"s even the "gimme fuel, gimme fire, gimme that which I desire"s, but there's something about her "groove slam work it back, filter that, baby bump that track" or her having fun cause the beat is sick and her wanting to take a ride on the disco stick that get me moving. Hello, my name is Fatty Boom Batty and I'm a fan of Lady GaGa. Proud to say it, a big fat hairy fan.

59 days left

Calorie Nazi

So I've officially become that guy that looks at the nutritionals of EVERYTHING. Since I've started keeping track, I've become relentless. I've got an app on my Crackberry that helps me keep a daily log of what I've eaten and the caloric value. I've got another app that helps me look up caloric info of foods if no nutrition labels are available. I've become that annoying guy that emails restaurants asking for their nutritional information if it's not available online. If I don't know the calories, I won't eat it, plain and simple. I've become a Calorie Nazi. We had a meeting after church and there was food out for the meeting, all I had was water. I've started driving the people around me nuts when we eat. I have to know what the calories are, or I won't eat it. The other day at work, everyone got a little stocking with chocolates in it. There were mini III Musketeers, mini Ree$e'$ PB cups, and a bar of solid Ru$$el $t0ver'$ chocolate in the stocking. Luckily the nutritionals were on the bar of chocolate, 310 calories for the whole bar. I took out my trusty $harpie and wrote 310 on the packaging. Then I divided the bar into eighths, by drawing 7 equal-distant lines on the box with my $harpie...that's 39 calories per section. Breaking it down into baby steps, my friends. I went online and found that there are 24 calories in the mini III Musketeers and 38 calories per Peanut Butter Cup. Again, the magic number written in $harpie on the packaging. My wife brought home a bag of Almond K!sses and has them sitting in a crystal Christmas tree bowl as part of the holiday decorations. 23 calories each and yes, I took 10 minutes to write "23" on every single Kiss in that bowl and the remaining smooches still in the bag in the drawer. The more you know the more you can prepare. All I want to know is how many calories are in it...that's all, not too hard to ask. Every good mission starts with reconnaissance...and a $harpie.

59 days left

Output > Input

So the "aha moment" for me in this journey came during a discussion with a friend of mine. He's seriously one of the smartest people I know, if not the smartest. He's a doctor, for Christ's sake. We were talking about losing weight; what he's been doing; what I've been doing, etc. This discussion came about 4 weeks into my journey and to be honest I was swinging in the dark hoping to hit something. I was trying to get more active and then watch what I was cramming into my mouth, but you can see from the early part of the blog, it was very hit and miss. He was saying it's all about how many calories your body needs on a daily basis. I know, what you are going to say, "Well no shit, that sounds simple, right?" Yes, it's a very well known concept, but I wasn't really paying that much attention to the number of calories I was taking in. Sure I thought I was eating healthier, and I was, but I was still not gauging was I was taking in. So I did a little research and came across this article that shed a lot of light. It also allowed me to figure my BMR, which is the daily amount of calories I need to have for my body. Your body will roughly use 60% of your daily calorie intake just to fuel the necessities, like breathing and such. So I figured my BMR by the following formula:

Men:
66 + (6.3 x weight in pounds) + (12.9 x height in inches) - (6.8 x age in years)

And that let me know that if I wanted to maintain my current weight, I needed to have around 2700 calories/day. If I cut out 500 calories/day I will average about a pound a week loss and if I'm exercising and burning an additional 500 calories/day, that will give me my 2 lb per week average.

Quick side note for all my female reader (yes it's singular, I'll be shocked if there's more-but I digress) here is the formula for the ladies:

Women:
655 + (4.3 x weight in pounds) + (4.7 x height in inches) - (4.7 x age in years)

So anywho, I decided to try and only consume 2000-2200 calories per day and continue to work out. When I work out at the gym, I'm averaging about 650 calories burned per 45 minutes, so the workouts are right where I need them to be, it's just getting my calorie intake figured out.

Last week was the first week I've really kept track and I was down 4lbs so something is working. It's all about keeping track of what you are putting in your mouth (insert joke here, go ahead, I teed it up for ya, swing away....I'll wait....you done?) whether it's counting calories or working on a point system. I find the better I keep track the better I do. When I lost all the weight before I was doing "Girth Gazers" and they have a point system, again as a way if keeping track of what you are consuming. You get so many points per day and everything has a point value based on the the "Girth Gazer" formula. So it's really six of one half dozen of the other, whatever floats your boat. Figure what your output needs to be and then adjust your output, no matter what the input is, just write that shit down.

59 days left

Have Scale Will Travel...

First and foremost, sorry for the delay in postings. It's been a crazy couple of days and I was going to do some posts from my Crackberry, but what can I say, I'm lazy.

Yesterday marked officially being 9 weeks away from Hawaii. Holy shit, single digits! So that meant a weigh in. Now for a little back story; yesterday we were about 150 miles from home on a quick overnight getaway for a concert. My wife asked me if I was going to weigh in early or what I was going to do. I said, well, we can just take the scale with us, and that's what we did. Why not right? Officially down 4 lbs for the week! Yeah, buddy. I've got a system down, it will be shared in a later post (like the next one). But it feels good to see that number drop!

Current Weight: 311
62 days left

Breaking the habit....

Not being well versed in communicating my feelings, I tend to be a stress eater, or a pissed off eater, or a I'm-having-a-bad-day-so-I-deserve-chocolate eater, any way you cut it, I eat. Yesterday was a prime example. Since we have found the equipment at our gym so much more effective than the elliptical (or as it should be called, the clothes drying rack, since that's what we've been using it for) we have in our basement, we were looking to get rid of it to free up a little space. My Mother-in-law said she'd take it so I tore it apart to be ready for delivery. We loaded it up, drove it over there and then proceeded to try and put the damn thing back together. About 10 minutes into trying to re-assemble it, I was sweating like I had just gotten off it after working out. What was I doing you as? Merely just bending over and screwing some screws in. So right off the bat that frustrated the shit out of me, there is no need to be so out of shape that you sweat like a whore in church, but I was. THEN the damn thing wasn't going together as seamlessly as it came apart. In the process of assembly, I smashed my thumb and slammed my shin so hard I thought I might need to lie down and check my shorts cause I thought I might have shit my pants it hurt so bad. Needless to say, I was on DEFCON 4 and about to have an aneurysm. We finally get the fucking thing together and I walk out to the kitchen to wash up a bit and there, in all it's glory, is a package of 0re0 Dbl Stuff cookies. Immediately, the guttural, primal response kicked in and I tore into the package and started to double fist the chocolate goodness. It was glorious, I think I had 0re0 crumbs in my eyebrows. I was like a great white shark coming up on a floating sperm whale carcass made out of chocolate and cream filling. Bite. Swallow. I might have even done an alligator death roll on a couple of the poor bastards. I was pissed and I needed satisfaction. Then I snapped out of it. Hands still in the sink under the water that was running. The 0re0 package sitting on the counter untouched. The old Fatty Boom Batty would have eaten to make myself feel better. But not now, the calories aren't worth it. Maybe something is starting to stick. I'll take this win.

65 days left

Thanks and such...

Random thoughts on this Thanksgiving...

I have been blessed by many family and friends, although I need to be better at staying in touch with all those people in my life that have helped out along the way.

If you are reading these ramblings and keep coming back, thank you and tell a friend.

I'm thankful that there are only 45 calories in a serving of turkey.

Do I need to count the calories from communion at church this morning?

I'm thankful for the elliptical at the gym, I've finally found something that I look forward to getting on at the gym.

I'm thankful for the CONSTANT testing (even on Thanksgiving) that I face personally by way of personal interactions, food set in front of me and the ability to see it for what it's worth and having the patience to get through it.

I'm thankful that there is a goal that being worked for in this process. But I also know that this journey will NOT stop in 69 days when we leave for Hawaii. This is a road that will be my road for a long time.

I'm thankful for the 2lb a week average I'm on and realizing that this is the ONLY way to achieve this, there are no short cuts or quick fixes.

I'm thankful for having enough family on both sides to be able to eat twice today.

I'm thankful that weigh-in was yesterday and I've got all week to rectify the damage I'm about to do.

May your Thanksgiving be filled with warm food, warm friends, warm laughter and elastic in your waistband. There are things everywhere that are blessings, you just got to see them. Now get off the computer and go spend time with family/friends!

69 days left

I know, I know...

I know what I know, but sometimes I don't want to know it. Let me explain. Today is weigh-in day. We are officially 10 weeks from Hawaii. This morning I was down 2 lbs. 5 weeks in and down 10 lbs. I know I am right on track; 2 lb per week average. Believe me, any loss is a victory and I know that. I don't want to sound like a super sweet 16 debutant bitching at daddy that her new BMW is silver instead of red. But I was hoping to be a little further along after 5 weeks. I had grandiose plans that I could average 5 lbs a week and I'd be at 25 lbs already on my way to 75 lbs lost by Hawaii. I also know that is unrealistic. A boy can dream, can't he. I know I'm doing the right things and getting this locomotive of mine on the right track, but there is still part of me wanting more. Maybe, that will come once I get momentum going. I know this is going to be a long journey. I know that it won't stop in 10 weeks when we are in Hawaii. I know there is no easy way to lose weight. I know that if it was easy, I would take it for granted. I know that I've been here before after dropping 85 lbs and I did take it for granted. I know that I gained all 85 lbs back plus an extra 15 lb for good measure. I know that 2lbs in one week is good. I know that the slower it happens the better the chances of it staying off. But does it always have to be such a fucking struggle? Don't answer that, I know the answer.

Current weight: 315
70 days left

What?!?! Where am I???

I think I might have the equivalent of Workout Alzheimer's. Tonight's workout was a prime example. After the last workout, I was dreading going to the gym tonight for another 45 minute session that felt like 10 hrs. I fired up the iPod and got to going. Surprisingly, tonight was much better than before. I clicked right into the rhythm of the workout and jammed to the tunes pumping into my ears. I shut my eyes and just went. It seriously felt like five minutes had passed and I checked the timer; I was over 32 minutes in! I only had 13 minutes left. Then it's like I was 90 and went to the store and forgot why I was there. The final 13 minutes felt like 45. I couldn't get back into rhythm to save my life. The iPod wasn't even a safe port in the storm. But I hammered through it and finished. I guess I'll take that the whole workout wasn't like the last one, just the final few minutes. I'll consider that a win.

71 days left

16 steps

There is a flight of stairs at work that you have to walk up to get out of the building. We are on the basement level and the main entrance is on the first floor. It's not your run-of-the-mill flight of stairs. Instead of your average tiered stairway, it's 8 steps to the first landing and then 16 steps the rest of the way. I've counted them because they are 16 steps that kick my ass every day. I don't know if my body is conditioned for shorter stairways or what, but every night at about the midway point, it's kicking my ass. 16 fucking steps. By the time I get to the top, I'm winded and my legs are burning like I just did 10 minutes on the Stair Master. 16 steps. Someday, those 16 steps won't be the bane of my existence. I've actually thought about taking the elevator just to avoid those 16 steps. But then I think that is just silly, it's just 16 steps. How hard can 16 steps be? Every night I am reminded of that and I'm chugging along until step 10, then it feels like someone is pulling me backwards. 16 steps. Someday, I will own your fucking ass.

71 days left

Guts, Nuts and my iPod....

Disclaimer: I have a tendency to quit things. I'm all talk and little follow through. I will be the first to admit it. I usually start like gangbusters, then fizzle. I'm surprised that I'm 25+ posts into this project and still going.

Today sucked. I didn't want to get out of bed. I didn't want to go to the gym. I sure as hell didn't want to get on the elliptical. But I got out of bed, went to the gym and got on the elliptical. The gym where I work out has TV screens on the the equipment so usually I can focus on that to help pass the time. Not today. Nothing held my interest. I was tired and I didn't want to be there. Only about 5 minutes in I was talking myself out of working out. "Maybe I'll just do only 10 minutes on the elliptical and then the rest of the 35 minutes will be a slow stroll on the treadmill..." But that was the old Fatty Boom Batty talking. I'm trying to change in this process, not just lose weight, but change everything. I told myself I wasn't going to step foot off that elliptical until 45 minutes had passed. No quitting. No backing out. No more. It was the longest 45 minutes of my life. I shut my eyes and focused on the music coming from the iPod. Nothing else worked. At one point I opened my eyes and there was a music video of Brittney in a white leotard rubbing her camel toe on the camera lens. That didn't help to pass the time. I just wanna get off this fucking thing and go sit down. Shut my eyes and focus. A while later I open my eyes and there is a blonde right across from me running in tights and a wife beater, didn't matter, she could have been topless and covered in baby oil, I just wanted to get the the fuck off this fucking ellipti-fucking-cal fucking machine. I felt like I was running through molasses. Shut my eyes and focus on the music. Gut it out, stay on that fucker. Focus on the lyrics, the rhythms, don't think about anything else. Focus.

The top 5 songs that got me through the longest 45 minutes of my life:

Elevator - The Black Keys
Stop, Drop and Roll!! - The Foxboro Hottubs
Get Free - The Vines
Fuck the Bullshit - The Dynospectrum
Judgement Night - Biohazard & Onyx

"In the elevator, I pick my floor. And if I wanna battle, I pick my war."

74 days left

The Pitfalls and Perils of Girth, Episode 1

When you are of larger proportions, you have a tendency to sweat more, especially when you work out. Usually, I have a towel at my side to mop up the flop sweat. Last night, however, on my way out the door, I forgot said towel. Not having realized it until I got to the gym, I dug around in my car for an emergency sweat sponge. Under my driver's seat, I found my old beat up Yankees hat. That would have to do. I crammed it on backwards and hoped that would act as a levy for the waves of sweat in my future. About 10 minutes into my 45 minute session on the elliptical, the hat is holding just fine. Every once in a while a trickle of sweat would escape and make a break for my cheek like an upper-bowl concert ticket holder jumping the rail and trying to make the front of the stage before security wrestles him down. A simple flick of the finger would eliminate the streaker. 20 minutes in the dam is holding, but it's quickly reaching a critical point. I am a sweater by trade, I've always said that I can sweat eating ice cream and when I work out it's even worse. One particular launching pad for the sweat drop divers is the end of my nose. Like clockwork, they gather and drop in a slow leaky faucet rhythm. While on the elliptical, I've got everything working in a symphony of legs/arms/fat/hair/sweat all in motion. So when the sweat gathers at the end of my nose, a short blast of air from my nose will take care it. At about 22 minutes in last night, a gave a short blast to disperse a quivering sweat drop and out of the corner of my eye, I see something go shooting from my nose, onto the elliptical just out of my reach. Yes folks, a booger was on my elliptical for everyone to see. I make it a rule not to stop while working out, I'd rather just power through and finish up. However, this little snot rocket was a different animal all together. Now the old Fatty Boom Batty, would have stopped right then and there got a paper towel sprayed the machine down, called it a night and shorten the work out. But this is Fatty Boom Batty 2.0, new and improved. I had over 27 minutes left and I wasn't going to stop, so I rode the booger out. Did anyone else see the shooter from the grassy knoll? Don't care, doesn't matter. I rode the booger out, finished my 45 minutes, dowsed the machine and thoroughly wiped it down and went home with that natural rush that a good 45 minute sweat gives you.

75 days left

Opposite ends of the Spectrum

I was at the gym the other night and it occurred to me the different worlds that can be perceived depending on which side of the headphones you are on.

From the inside of the headphones it's me chugging along to Rage Against the Machine's "Killing in the Name Of..." I am Master of the Elliptical, an awesome dynamo getting stronger with every rotation, a locomotive burning calorie after calorie, a fitness machine maintaining the cardio heart rate, a thoroughbred drenched in sweat, an unstoppable force turning on the "afterburners," a true warrior charging into battle.

From the outside of the headphones, I'm just a fat guy wheezing and "farting."

Either way, I'm moving.

76 days left

De night time is de right time?

I really wish I had the ability to drag my ass out of bed @ 5:30am and then be able to work out. But I just can't do it, I've tried and failed miserably. Then it would be done and I wouldn't have to worry about it. Additionally, the longer I put it off throughout the day, the less likely it will happen-what can I say? I'm a procrastinator.
And the lunch workouts are good, but then I have to shower and I only have an hour for lunch, so that can be a pain in the ass.
So that leaves the night time. I actually like working out at night-I'm a night owl anyway. I just gotta stay motivated and actually go. Not come home and sit down. Not even go home, just go right to the gym from work. Still trying to find the balance.

77 days left

Early weigh in

We are just one day shy of being 11 weeks from Hawaii. I usually do my weigh-in then, but in an effort to be successful, I weighed in today. Down 5.5 lbs! Yeah baby! I know it's only a total of 8 lbs in 4 weeks, BUT it's an average of 2 lbs a week and I'll take it. Tonight we have a church outing that is going to be catered by a local Italian restaurant. Their cheese ravioli would make you leap out of a moving vehicle it's so good. So it was either, not eat tonight and still weigh in tomorrow, or weigh in a day early and still be able to sample a little goodness tonight. It's all about momentum and I can feel it rolling. I can tell that if I keep staying active, hitting the gym, staying moving, my weekly average will go up and my ass will go down.

Current weight: 317
78 days left

Munchies on the Filing Cabinet

Just yesterday, the following email was sent out to our department:

"There is a cheese ball and Bacon dip with crackers out for your enjoyment."

Now I'm all about community and team building at work, but don't they understand the ramifications of a cheese ball, not to mention bacon-fucking-dip, would have on me? The alluring make-your-own-personal-pizza-oven is one thing. To wage war with it's warm, orange glow and fresh ingredients you have to enter it's lair; you have to go looking for a fight. But this battle is on home turf. The cheese ball staged a full-on frontal assault with the bacon dip serving as reinforcements. It's almost the perfect combination, the perfect twin assassins. Who couldn't resist cheese rolled into a ball and covered with nuts? Don't get me started on bacon dip. Seriously? Bacon dip? That would be like having a dip made out of money. Bacon is money, baby...MONEY. Seriously, you could wrap bacon around a cat turd rolled in hair and I'd probably eat it. The only thing that could possibly outshine the bacon would be chocolate ganache. You could put chocolate ganache on a homeless guy's foot and I would eat it, the whole foot...I'm not kidding. Even though the tandem of cheese ball and bacon dip brought the pain, they didn't take this hill. I resisted the onslaught and am proud to say that at the end of the day the Fatty Boom Batty flag was still flying at the top.

These are the daily battles in this office. That file cabinet is like a caged octagon for food battles. Today it's left over cookies from this morning's training session. If you look at the top of Fatty Boom Batty Hill, you'll see the chocolate chip flag waving...it's not about the battles it's about the war.

78 days left

Ain't no easy way....

It would have been so easy to stay in bed this morning. I wanted to so bad. But this isn't an easy path to be on. Taking the easy way is what got me to where I am. Another 45 minutes this morning, another 3 miles. The only easy thing I'm focusing on is how easy it will be to spend 7+hrs in an airplane. How easy it will be to fasten my seat belt on the plane. That's the only easy thing I need right now. Everything else has to be a struggle to make it all worth it.

81 days left

Bring It

haven't done much of anything
the last two days
for the next workout
had to push myself
flying solo tonight
couldn't sit at home
wanted to
went to the gym anyway
one hour
4.45 miles
900 calories
getting up tomorrow
to go do it all again
bring it

82 days left

Seeing the forest from the trees without running into a tree....

There are pros and cons to having a 20+ minute drive into work every day. It gave me time to reflect and calm down about the weigh-in this morning. Up 2lbs. And what is even more frustrating was that when I got on the scale and saw the number, I thought to myself, "well it's only two pounds." Seriously, what the fuck?! Am I not taking this seriously? I feel like I'm putting in the work-outs, why else am on on the treadmill every day, fighting through the shin splints. It's not fun. Trust me there are other things I would rather be doing, but I know I have to do it. Mornings like this morning just frustrate the shit out of me. As I drove into work I processed and thought about the big picture. It's not an overnight change and I know that and I also know that I'm not going to lose 10lbs every week. I need to focus on staying on course. But it's easy to get pissed and quit. I left the house this morning and didn't bring my workout stuff. The easy road is so appealing to me. If you don't try you can't fail. If you don't fail you don't get frustrated or hurt. There is a Langhorne Slim lyric that I just love:

"There's no road to follow, only stone left unturned. You must play with fire in order to get burned..."

What I take from that is you've got to put yourself out there, lay it on the line. Don't take the easy road. So I hit a pothole. Change the fucking blown tire and get back on the interstate.

Also, the long drive into work also allowed me to talk myself into picking up "McDowell's" for breakfast. Hey, I'm not perfect.

Current weight: 320.5
84 days left

Too much of a good thing?

I love peanut butter. Like seriously get-up-on-the-counter-and-make-sweet-sweet-love-to-it love peanut butter. Almost every morning I have peanut butter on something for breakfast. Whether it's a bagel or toast or waffles, it will have peanut butter on it. Yesterday while I was on the treadmill, I started sweating once the workout started. I wiped my face down with my sweat towel (freshly washed) and I smelled the familiar smell-peanut butter. Had I eaten so much peanut butter that it was now coming out of my pores, like garlic? Or maybe there was some peanut butter from breakfast still in my moustache or beard? Which would really suck since I was working out at 6pm. So I would have had to walk around the whole day with peanut butter up in my grill. But I didn't smell it until I started working out and sweating. One of the many things that run through my head as I'm working out, "why in the hell do I smell peanut butter?"

85 days left

A welcome distraction...

Lot of shit going on today in my head; so many "what-ifs" that I was getting antsy. Felt good to get on the treadmill after work today to walk off some of the anxiousness. Tomorrow should be better, we'll know what direction we are going or if we even want to go. Felt good to get on the treadmill, blast the eyepod and sweat a little bit. Didn't think about the "what-ifs" but focused on just putting one foot in front of the other and how many calories I was burning. For once the workout was a welcome distraction instead of something I just try and make it through.

86 days left

Feelin' Good...

I had my hands in the river my feet back up on the banks, looked up to Lord above and said, "Hey man thanks, sometimes I feel so good I gotta scream." She said, "Fatty Boom Batty baby, I know exactly what you mean..."

That (slightly edited) is a lyric I heard while at the gym this weekend. Yes, I got my ass up Saturday morning and went to the gym and it felt good! I split my time between the treadmill and the elliptical. Got a great sweat going and it felt good the whole time I was there. I can feel the momentum building....can you?

87 days left

Flippin' the switch....

I'd like to think that the switch has been ceremoniously flipped. I can feel the drive and desire creeping back in that hasn't been here in a while. That was probably the most frustrating thing....I've been here before and I was successful. About 7 years ago I lost about 85 lbs, I got all the way down to 225. Then I just stopped and slowly but surely I gained all the weight back. Sure it took me 7 years to gain 100 lbs, but I was there...so close to losing 100 lbs and I let go of the rope and slide back down the mountain. So I think the last couple of months I had a "I've been there, done that" mentality so I thought it would come easy like it did before. I lost 85lbs in about 7 months, I was in the zone. But I was like a guy in a dark room looking for the light switch, I was just floundering, not doing anything. I knew that Hawaii was coming, but I wasn't motivated to do anything about it. Hence the purpose of this blog, accountability. I was talking to my bestie today and he said that I haven't written in two days, and with that he stoked the fire. This little experiment isn't just about me losing weight, it's about the journey; all the triumphs and stumbles. No bullshit, hopefully just results. So I'm writing again today. Yesterday I busted my ass and felt the brunt of it last night. I was beat. So it's time to test myself. It was a good week, great workouts so far and a dip down at the scale. So I'm taking today off to recoup a little bit and then I will get up tomorrow morning and hit the gym. I haven't gotten up the last couple of weeks, so lets see what happens.

89 days left

Monkey - 1 Football - 1

Don't call it a comeback, I've been here for years! This was a pretty good week! I'll take whatever I can get at this point. 13 weeks from today until the Hawaii trip so that means weigh-in number two. I'm happy to report that I'm officially down 7.7lbs! Yeah buddy! I did do the weigh-in a little different this week. I did it in the morning right after my shower as opposed to the middle of the day after my work-out, after lunch. I'll just continue to do the morning weigh-ins from here on out. But I'm taking this one as a victory! May not be winning the war, at least I got this battle. I feel the momentum building....13 weeks.

Current weight 318.5 lbs
91 days left

Man Boobs

I got 'em and I don't want 'em. I'd say I'm dealing with a small C cup. I know people that have paid big money to have C cups, but I don't want 'em. Yet another reason for the journey....man boobs, man....fucking man boobs....

92 days left

The road less traveled

OK- so I didn't do that good of a job getting two posts done in one day, but I DID complete two workouts yesterday. I'm not going to lie. As I was packing up getting ready to leave work and head to the gym last night, I was struggling with going. It was almost 6:00pm and already dark out. This little voice in the back of my head was saying, "c'mon, you already worked out once today....how much will it help to go lift weights...you'll be sore in the morning and then you'll have trouble walking, you know you hate that..." I was tempted, shit, I almost did it. My walk to the parking lot takes my right past the entrance to the building on our campus that houses one of the three gyms available to us at work. I was coming up on that building, having serious second thoughts about going when who should walk out but my boss' boss' boss. THE Head Honcho. The same one that saw me in the cafeteria last week and said, "Hey big guy! How are you?" Big Guy? I fucking hate that (that is a whole other post in itself). She saw me and stopped and we chatted that awkward work chat that I'm terrible at. She thanked me for working on a special project that popped up, yada yada. If I wanted to skip the second workout of the day, I would have had to walk the rest of the way out to the parking lot with her, small-talking the whole time. Needless to say, I was in the gym lifting weights a few minutes later. I'll take that as a sign that I was supposed to hit the weights, so I did. Then when I got to rehearsal, we had to set up the tables and chairs for the read through and put all the extra chairs away, so at the beginning of the read through, I was flop sweating yet again. I got home and I was exhausted. But I actually feel good today. Not a lot of soreness. That means I didn't push it hard enough lifting weights last night or the walking at lunch has sort of prepared my body for lifting. I think it's the first option. Either way, it's still doing something, not going home and sitting on the couch.

92 days left

Two-a-days

I didn't really do a post yesterday, so I'll have to fit two in today. Which is fitting, since I think I'm going to try and start two-a-day workouts. I'll continue to walk at lunch and then lift weights after work until I have to be at play rehearsal at 7pm. I'll literally have 2.5hrs to kill until rehearsal starts and it's not worth me driving all the way home that back down to rehearsal, so I'll stay downtown and make the most out of my time.

Last night was like a horse kicked me in the head. I was passed out snoring on the couch by 10pm. I helped my parents install a wood floor in their new house. Needless to say this body isn't built to be crawling around on my hands and knees. So I think I literally passed out last night. Today I feel pretty good. The work out over lunch went really well. Hit the treadmill for 45 minutes, did just over 2miles and burn just under 800 calories. I'm motivated, so I'm getting ready to head back to the gym at work for round two. I'll let you know how it goes.

93 days left

#10

The weekends are always rough on me. I think that I look forward to working out during the week due to it getting me away from my desk for a while. Although on Friday, work consumed everything that day like a black hole and I didn't get away like I wanted to. Only two work-outs this week. Not good. Tonight I had to struggle putting socks on when my jeans were already on. Not good. I'm stoked about gaining the hour of sleep tonight with daylight savings. I'm tired and not motivated and I need to be the exact opposite. I need to focus on the goal and keep kicking myself in the ass. But I'm sure you're tired of hearing me bitch, I know I am. Happy 10th post Fatty Boom Batty.

95 days left

Back in the Saddle

Today went a little better than yesterday. I think I was trying the hammer in a screw. Earlier, I was talking about priorities and making working out a priority, as it should be, but you also have to be able to take what's given to you and make it work. I was trying to do too much. I'm not saying you sit and wait for it to come to you, or that you need to kick down every door. There has to be that sweet spot that is right in the middle of both. There are times when you can force it and grab it by the nuts and take it where you want to go. Then there are times when you have to go with the flow and enjoy the ride. This whole process in a completely new way of thinking for me. I do have to be motivated since there are only 97 days left, but I can't get frustrated when it doesn't always work the way I think it should. It's a delicate balance and I'm still trying to get used to it. The main thing is I've got two days of good workouts under my belt and I'm looking forward to tomorrow's workout. I've got to realize I can't hit the treadmill and run 5 miles. I also know that I can't hop on there and stroll for 15 minutes and call it good. Main thing is doing something. Have I done everything possible today to help me in this battle? Not as much as I'm going to be able to in just a few weeks if I keep this up. I'll get there.

97 days left

Monkey - 0 Football - 1

It's taken me a bit to come up with this post. I usually write them at the end of the day to summarize the day's events. Last night I didn't feel like it. I'm a week into it, so I weighed myself yesterday; up 1.2 lbs. I managed to work out 5 days in a row (M-F) last week (sure I didn't work out over the weekend or Monday and Tuesday of this week, but I was still "active"), which is something I can't ever remember happening before and I gain weight. I felt about as successful as a monkey fucking a football. Sure it's fun to watch, but he doesn't get any where. So I thought I would sleep on it, get a fresh perspective on it. That didn't work. I've literally tried to write this fucker two or three times this morning. Trying to come up with clever analogies to summarize it all up. Or pull some clever motivational rambling ala Vince Lombardi out to get me going, but that's all bullshit. I typed a couple paragraphs, didn't like them. So I went to think about it some more (take a shit) and as I was in there, it came to me, don't think, just write, that's what I decided to do. When I got back to my desk there was an industry email with a quote in it and it made me realize something. Here I'm spouting off about how the motivational phrases are bullshit, all it should take is me getting my ass on a treadmill and sweating out the last four years of trash and abuse I've done to myself and this random quote from the author of "Memoirs of a Geisha," sent in a daily work email shoots holes in my self-deprecating theory:

"A mind troubled by doubt cannot focus on the course to victory."

Fuck me, there it is. The past week kicked me in the nuts and here I am doubting the whole thing. Just when I think I'm done, they pull me right back in. I can't make this shit up folks, I just write it as it happens. Yes, last week fucking sucked and I took a few strides in the wrong direction, ya know what, at least I'm walking. Time to get back on that football. 14 weeks.

Current weight 326.2 lbs
97 days left

Mobility test

I'm typing this from my Crackberry just to see if it works. Guess it does. We are officially under a 100 days, shit has to start cracking. Didn't do shit AGAIN today. Tomorrow is a new day and I'm looking forward to being able to do something again. We'll see how it goes.

99 days left

Third time's the charm....

Another late night and I didn't do shit for a workout today. I did see an amazing concert tonight and helped my parents paint their bedroom. I don't know if I'll have time tomorrow. Like I said a few days ago, it's all about priorities. Whatever.

100 days left

Only two days isn't really a bender, right?

So today was another blur. My head hit the pillow this morning @ 2:45am and we were up for church just a few short hours later. Then my parents are in the process of moving to a new house and we went to help them. So I was thinking that would be strenuous enough, carrying all their stuff. Not so much. So it was another wasted day on the battlefront. I can't wait to get back to the rhythm tomorrow and start walking again at work, time is running out.

101 days left

zoom zoom

Today (I guess now it's technically yesterday) was a blur. It started with my alarm going off to work out at 7:10am, then me actually getting out of bed at 8:30am. Then off to meet a buddy who had skybox tickets for the Husker game in Lincoln. The skybox was amazing, taco bar, fruit, cookies, you name it. I did have some fruit but was still enjoying the tacos when they brought the hot dogs in. Then home for an hour and then off to meet the boys in Flatfoot 56 for their show in Omaha. Show kicked ass as usual and we just got home now from a little fellowship at Village Inn over slices of French Silk pie. Needless to say I didn't do much today (yesterday) to wage war on the the waistline, if anything I think I might have aided the opposition. Hopefully tomorrow (today) will be better.

102(101) days left

Temptation...

Today was build-your-own-personal-pizza day in the cafeteria at work. They usually only do this gluttonous ritual on Tuesdays. I've learned to not even walk by the cafeteria on Tuesdays. I've fell victim to the build-your-own-personal-pizza oven's siren song before. It's just easier to stay away, bring your lunch and not even have to worry about it. But today is Friday, dammit. Here I come, strolling into the cafeteria lunchless and worry free. Then I see it, the build-your-own-personal-pizza oven, the buckets of fresh ingredients waiting to be piled on your very own build-your-own-personal-pizza crust, the long ass line of people waiting. One lady even said, "Oh my God! I love build-your-own-personal-pizza day! You made my day!" Seriously, these fucking build-your-own-personal-pizzas are that good. I stood there, not knowing what to do. They've got broccoli, I can see it, I'll just get broccoli on it, that makes it healthy right? I freeze, literally standing motionless like a frightened rabbit, hoping the build-your-own-personal-pizza oven doesn't see me. Don't make eye contact, you'll get lost in it's cozy orange glow and slow moving conveyor belt and cooks your build-your-own-personal-pizza to that perfect bubbly cheese goodness. Look away dammit! Oh shit! It's seen me! "Hello Fatty Boom Batty." the build-your-own-personal-pizza oven coos. "Hey build-your-own-personal-pizza oven." Is all I dare utter. "I bet you didn't think you'd be seeing me today, I haven't seen you around here lately. Where've ya been?" Still staring at the floor, I start mumbling, "well you know how it is, work's crazy...I've worked out every day so far this week....going to Hawaii...only got 15 weeks...I've started blogging about it...." I trail off into that self preservation silence that rape victims often do when they are trying to find that happy place. "15 weeks? You've got plenty of time," the build-your-own-personal-pizza oven reasons, "why don't you come over here and I'll whip you up a build-your-own-personal-pizza with hamburger, onions and extra cheese, just like old times?" I hesitate, "yeah, I better not." It smells my fear and turns up the heat, "C'mon, I'll even put broccoli on it." "Really?" I'm slipping, slowly taking a couple steps closer. "Yeah, I mean the broccoli will make it healthy right?" Fuck, build-your-own-personal-pizza oven is good, real good. "You know build-your-own-personal-pizza oven, that is so funny I was just thinking that if there was broc....wait a minute, what are you doing?" "Me? I'm not doing anything, just trying to make you a pizza." And with that I started coming out of the fog. I focus on Hawaii. "I've got to go." And I make my getaway. Luckily there is a mass of other build-your-own-personal-pizza zombies clamoring to get their fix. Five minutes later, I'm at my desk eating my freshly made tuna salad sandwich on whole wheat with a side salad. "Hey buddy!" it chirps, "I'm a fresh tuna salad sandwich on nutritious whole wheat bread!" "Shut the fuck up." I grumble.

103 days left

Unrealized Expectations

It's really all about priorities. You've got to make working out a priority. What I used to do would be to fit working out into my life. If it happened then great. But if there wasn't time, hey, there wasn't time. That type of thinking is what got me where I am (fat and blogging about being fat). I needed to make working out a priority. Work other things around that and if those other things happened great, if not, no biggie. At the very least I still worked out. It's almost like having to go to the bathroom. You know you have to do it, but the longer you put it off the worse it gets. Next thing you know, you've shit yourself. I guess you could say I'm tired of shitting myself.

Today was a classic example. I've got from 2:30-3:30 blocked out on my calendar every afternoon this week so I can hit the gym. What usually happens happened; one meeting bleeds over into another meeting the next thing you know, it's 4:30 time to go home and you've missed your workout. Now the old Fatty Boom Batty would chalk it up to being busy at work and we'll get 'em next time. Not anymore. We've got an elliptical in our basement, I'd just do that when I got home. Trust me, I didn't want to have a single thing to do with this contraption, but I made a commitment. Besides, if it wasn't for you, my faithful reader (yes, there is probably only one) keeping me on task, the night would have gotten away from me and I would have spent it on the couch like in the past. I usually do 45 minutes on the treadmill, so I thought, "what the hell" and programmed the elliptical for 45 minutes. 10 minutes in; I wanted to quit. 15 minutes in; this is long enough right? I mean I'm sweating like a motherfucker, so that's got to be good. 20 minutes in; maybe I should only do 25 or 30 minutes since an elliptical is that much more strenuous. 25 minutes in; maybe I should stop, I don't want to overexert myself and burn out too quickly. 27 minutes in; fuck yeah! I feel great! I think I can do an hour! 30 minutes in, 31 minutes in, 31 minutes 15 seconds in, 34 minutes in, 35 minutes in, 35 minutes 10 seconds in, 35 minutes 24 seconds in; I wanted to quit. But I kept going. 8 minutes left; you can do it, what's 8 minutes? When you sit down in the airplane bound for Hawaii and be comfortable, this will be worth it. 5 minutes left; Fuck me, that was the longest 3 minutes of my life, is this fucking timer broken? 2 minutes left; nope, that last 3 minutes was THE longest 3 minutes of my life, this thing is definitely defective, wonder if we kept the receipt? 1 minute 30 seconds left; I think I might puke. 45 seconds left; I can't feel my legs. 10 seconds left; almost there, do I smell burning hair? Am I having a stroke? BEEP BEEP the timer goes of and I get off. I made it. It feels good. Have I done everything today that I possibly can to achieve getting fit? Almost, but I didn't shit myself today, I made it and got it done, so for now, I'm counting this as a win.

104 days left

It starts with a single step and then a single post....

They say that everyone has that one "Fat Picture" where they hit rock bottom and say, "Holy shit! I've got to change something." The picture above is my Fat Picture. In exactly 15 weeks from today, my wife and I will be at a resort in Hawaii, soaking up the sun. 105 days from right now, we'll be there. Four years of trying to get pregnant, now in the waiting pool for an adoption. Four years of giving everything and not getting anything in return. So we said, "Fuck it, let's go to Hawaii." Everything is booked and paid for, now we just got to get there. I want to be able to enjoy the flight since we'll be in the air for a while. I don't want to ask for a seat belt extender and then worry if my leg is accidentally pressing the recline button for my seat during take-off and have the air hostess yelling at me to put my seat back up. I want to be able to walk on the beach and not be worried about people spraying me with a mister so I don't dry out before they can roll me back into the ocean, but most of all, after Hawaii, I want to be a dad who can actually sit on the floor and play with his kid without wheezing and only taking a knee like it's football practice. 15 weeks.

The journey began today. Actually it's been trying to start the past couple of weeks, but what can I say? I'm lazy. This week though, something clicked. I've walked at work the past 3 days over my lunch. Today was the first official day, first weigh-in. 325lbs Holy shit am I fat. Officially the most I've every weighed in my life, awesome. Enough excuses. Time for action. 45 minutes on the treadmill over lunch 550+ calories burned. Taco Bell for dinner, ugh. One step forward, two steps back. But I'm up and moving, that's something.

Why blog about it? Why not? It's my attempt to keep me accountable. My goal is to have 100 posts in the next 105 days. All the way up to when we leave for Hawaii and maybe some after that. This is my online journal, no more excuses, no more bullshit. 15 weeks.

Current weight: 325
105 days left