Monkey - 0 Football - 1

It's taken me a bit to come up with this post. I usually write them at the end of the day to summarize the day's events. Last night I didn't feel like it. I'm a week into it, so I weighed myself yesterday; up 1.2 lbs. I managed to work out 5 days in a row (M-F) last week (sure I didn't work out over the weekend or Monday and Tuesday of this week, but I was still "active"), which is something I can't ever remember happening before and I gain weight. I felt about as successful as a monkey fucking a football. Sure it's fun to watch, but he doesn't get any where. So I thought I would sleep on it, get a fresh perspective on it. That didn't work. I've literally tried to write this fucker two or three times this morning. Trying to come up with clever analogies to summarize it all up. Or pull some clever motivational rambling ala Vince Lombardi out to get me going, but that's all bullshit. I typed a couple paragraphs, didn't like them. So I went to think about it some more (take a shit) and as I was in there, it came to me, don't think, just write, that's what I decided to do. When I got back to my desk there was an industry email with a quote in it and it made me realize something. Here I'm spouting off about how the motivational phrases are bullshit, all it should take is me getting my ass on a treadmill and sweating out the last four years of trash and abuse I've done to myself and this random quote from the author of "Memoirs of a Geisha," sent in a daily work email shoots holes in my self-deprecating theory:

"A mind troubled by doubt cannot focus on the course to victory."

Fuck me, there it is. The past week kicked me in the nuts and here I am doubting the whole thing. Just when I think I'm done, they pull me right back in. I can't make this shit up folks, I just write it as it happens. Yes, last week fucking sucked and I took a few strides in the wrong direction, ya know what, at least I'm walking. Time to get back on that football. 14 weeks.

Current weight 326.2 lbs
97 days left